I had to ask myself this question last night when I was working through Rebecca Campbell's Mini Soul Retreat free online course (find it here).
We were journalling about what our soul desired through various exercises, and in the end, I got to this conclusion...
My soul is yearning to be seen and to go big!
Fucking great, I thought. That was meant to be my mantra for 2017 and look what happened? My world crumbled around me.
I slept on it, almost annoyed that this was the conclusion for me. Be seen? Could I make myself even more seen, I have bright pink hair for god sake.
This morning I woke up with that inner knowing you have when you sit with something, no matter how uncomfortable.
I wrote two words in capitals on my To Do List pad...
And so it is. All the things I have been holing back from, letting myself get busy with other things, life taking over...It's time to create space and focus on following through.
No more holding back.
For me, this means more writing to my mailing list! Blogging more and trying to get them published on other relevant sites! Finishing my book and securing a publisher! Running workshops again! Finding events to speak at!
Sheesh. Just add all that to the to-do list shall I?!
So what has been holding me back?
I'm not shy. I feel like I know what my message is, my passion, my WHY.
I know the steps to take to make this happen.
But I have been hiding behind everything else, because deep down I am PARALYSED by fear of failure. Of not being good enough. Of not being "right" (whatever the fuck that means).
By not being perfect.
I have let everything else take a higher priority so I didn't have to face these fears (funny how we do this...more often than you think).
Time for change.
I have started by going back to my self care rituals (meditation, affirmations, journalling, connecting with nature)...But I need to go deeper, further and more outside of my comfort zone than ever before.
Making SPACE. Setting aside allocated TIME. Holding myself ACCOUNTABLE.
Probably the three hardest things to do right?
Scrolling through Instagram to distract yourself is way easier, am I right?!
Interestingly enough, space has opened in my calender. I have time. And I feel I am ready.
SO. Here I go!
I bet you can relate.
What are you holding yourself back from doing?
Also, need an accountability partner?
I would love to help you out!