When you don't know which way to turn...
Turn towards yourself.
For the first time in awhile, I am feeling melancholy and down.
I wasn't even aware of this until a friend asked me what was wrong. This is actually the second time someone asked me if I was okay.
I actually feel on top of the world. I mean, I am in love. I have some amazing friends who I have been connecting with better than ever. I have new tattoos, and plenty of nourishing food and perfect weather. I have enough money to travel and have a good time, to look after myself. I have a job that I enjoy mostly, and then some side jobs that aren't too shabby either.
I pretty much am living the life of the dreams with the partner of my dreams yet something is not right...I don't know whether it's because I have been so caught up in the love that I have forgotten about myself, or whether I just haven't been caring for myself as much as I would have liked, or I am feeling disconnected to my purpose...Or all of these things.
I understand more than most what it feels like to lose yourself and neglect yourself and get lost in the beautiful mess that is life. I coach people on how to bring themselves back from the wilderness.
Yet, sometimes when it comes to my own life, I can't take my own advice. Well, we're all guilty of that aren't we?!
So, here I am, rushing from yoga class to yoga class to yoga class to CrossFit to run to boyfriend to home to boyfriend to work to work to beach for a much needed break to home to boyfriend to out with friends...Enter little sleep. Enter too much coffee. Enter disrupted hormones. Enter too much sweet stuff (still healthy, but too much). Enter too much alcohol.
Enter spotty skin and melancholy and restlessness and confusion and low vibes.
I have been loving life, but the pace that I have been living at has left me no room to breathe.
I've neglected my meditation, my sleep, my writing, my self care.
Yes I have been having the TIME of my life, oh my gosh these last few months I have been on top of the world, but maybe too much on top and not enough grounded down here. I am grateful for all the goodness I have in my life.
But I need to bring myself back in. In my classes this week I have been talking all about going within, connecting with yourself, bringing your awareness inward. I am craving this for myself.
Softness. Quietness. Steady. Slow. Loving.
Restorative yoga. Long walks along the beach. Acoustic tunes. Essential oils and face masks and massages.
The peaks can't peak forever. There needs to be troughs. The highs need lows (or not even lows, just lower highs).
My body is asking me to quieten and I am open to listening.
I am ready to once again turn back to myself...