Nothing or no-one needs to give you validation. You are valid as you are.
Broken. Battered. With baggage. Or without. You are valid.
Why do we let other people determine our validity?
I pondered this concept today as a big fat emotional bat smacked me over the head for the first time in awhile. I felt heavy and it fucking scared me. I haven't felt this way for some time and I didn't appreciate the familiar feeling seeping through my body.
It was with me all day. I felt tired. Drained. Flat. As opposed to the last six weeks or so where I have felt on top of the world, it was like an unwanted hangover.
I was inclined to push it to the side, because well life, but instead I dug into it.
I walked down to the beach (my favourite place if you hadn't guessed yet and an amazing place for meditation and reflection) and I crumbled. I put my head in my hands and cried and stared at the ocean and talked myself into a heap.
It dawned on me that I had let go of someone in a pretty big way. In a way that I never thought I would let go of. In a way that I never thought would happen, not in this lifetime.
I let go. I cut the cords, the final ones, the ones that often choke you. Those ones.
It hurt. It made me lose my breathe. I felt sick to my stomach. It was fucking hard, so hard, which is why I had held on for so long, so tightly, to these last remnants.
In the last few days, I knew I needed to cut them.
Because keeping them attached was not making me feel valid as a person, as a pretty good human if I do say so myself. It was making me feel like a giant piece of shit.
Keeping the cords was making me feel less than.
Ain't no-one wants to feel like that.
So. When I sat at the beach, I thought to myself, I deserve to feel validated. I deserve it and I AM valid. What I am feeling is valid and what I am doing is valid and I AM VALID godammit.
And then I swam, I dived under and under and under and under and screamed to myself YOU GOT THIS BABE.
You got this. You're valid. You're killing it. Stay in there.
I got it. I sat down. I breathed some really deep nasal breaths. And I LET THAT SHIT GO (excuse all the capitals).
Because we all deserve to be validated. We are all valid. How we feel is valid and our being is valid and our lives are valid and what we do is valid.
I cut the last cord. I do not let people make me feel less than. I will not let people make me feel less than, because I am not and you aren't either.
This isn't a fuck you. It's from the heart. It's an intention to value myself and let myself be valued by those around me.
And you can too. Take a stand. Cut the cords (people, jobs, places, things) that make you feel less than.
Because you're worth more than that. You are valid.
If this resonates with you my love, join me for my six week program starting March...You deserve to be valid and I will help you to find your way there.
Email me firstname.lastname@example.org and let's get it together.