Saying no to labels and yes to life.
I have written about this before and various different ways.
If you follow my social media, you will know I am no stranger to bucking labels and societal boundaries in favour of living life on my own terms.
I feel like for most of my life I have been on the outer. Not necessarily in a negative way, just never seeming to "fit in". Always feeling different. Like I didn't want to just blindly follow along with what everyone else was doing.
As a younger kid, this was expressed through acting. When I performed, I felt like I fit. I could be whoever I wanted to be, many people, no-one. I could escape myself completely. Going to drama classes and being involved in that creative scene allowed me to have my individuality. It set me apart. I thrived off of it.
When that chapter of my life wrapped up, I was pretty lost. I tried to get a normal job and work toward a degree, both of which I had no interest in. Yet I tried so hard, because I thought that I would be able to settle down. Be able to be a passive participant in life.
Life with a linear career map seems easier than moving through the rollercoaster of jobs and businesses and creative ventures and risks that I have been on.
However, is it more fulfilling?
Or is it just not for me?
Or have I not found the right fit yet?
It's hard when people ask, so what do you do? I feel like I'm constantly being judged because I don't have your typical 9-5 situation. But perhaps that's my own judgement.
Society doesn't have much room for people that don't follow the "normal" path...
I tried to apply for a loan but because I have varying jobs, some sub-contracting, some sole trader, some as an employee I go rejected.
My tax bill came back higher than expected because all my work is classified under different categories and needed separate profit and loss statements.
When I fill in a form and it asks for your career, what do I write? There is never a drop down menu option for entrepreneur. Free spirited creative.
It's almost like you are disadvantaged because you don't play by the rules. Society doesn't know what to do with you.
It's frustrating, but I wouldn't change it. Life is a constant lesson for me.
I can't imagine staying in the job that I probably had for the longest. It was an Advertisement Monitor for an ad agency in Sydney. It was mindless and repetitive and uninspiring.
Or the other position I had for awhile as a manager in retail. I was bored out of my brain most of the time, always finding excuses to get the fuck out of the shop. I felt caged.
Now, I am free-ish. And it's not easy.
I want to create. I want to be a part of something bigger. But there is no set path to follow for that life. There is no step by step instruction manual on how to get there. I have to make my own way.
I have to dig deeper. I have to use my intuition and be more courageous and more open and more honest and more of me than I ever have been. And keep being that.
I don't fit into a box and that's okay.
More and more and more I don't fit. But I am finding my own weird and wonderful collective of people who also aren't afraid to challenge what is "normal".
My sexuality goes against the grain. I am sexually fluid and I know that challenges many people.
Being raised in a world of definitions, it's fucking tough to follow my truth and live a life which is a little "different". Marrying a cis women. Not having kids. Separating. Falling in love with a cis man, who happens to have kids. Committing to a more open relationship with said man.
I have had more than one shocked reaction to my recent relationship. And I know my ex has had similar reactions when they find out I am with a male now.
This shouldn't even be a thing, but it is. It still is.
But I welcome it. My relationship with myself has gotten deeper because of this. My relationships with my soul family have gotten stronger because of this.
The choices I have made about my appearance have followed my creative streak, and set me apart sometimes too. I get and have had weird looks. Judgemental comments. Stares. But also tonnes of praise and positivity.
I choose to lean into my difference. To embrace it. To love it. To embody it.
It is me and I am it.
I wouldn't have things any other way.
I choose life on my terms. Life as I see fit, for me, in this moment.
Fuck labels. Fuck conformity. Fuck fitting in. Fuck complying. Fuck rules.
Fuck YES to LIFE on my terms (and yours).